you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
