When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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