absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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