Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He has the fingertips of a God
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
