your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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