I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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