dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Vodka?
Forever.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
