toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
