There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
