That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
