and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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