i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
