Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
God, I missed his penis.
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