What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize