Say something about gay babies.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
