Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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