i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.