Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.

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  (813): I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life. http://tfl.nu/zrqp
  Replies (41) Good night (5004) Bad night (1201)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning

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  (709): I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning http://tfl.nu/z1rc
  Replies (9) Good night (2771) Bad night (566)
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  (760): View more from California

  What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?

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  (760): What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch? http://tfl.nu/c2lm
  Replies (30) Good night (5324) Bad night (738)
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  (805): View more from California

  i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover

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  (805): i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover http://tfl.nu/9f4v
  Replies (12) Good night (4565) Bad night (539)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

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  (203): I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night http://tfl.nu/hkfs
  Replies (43) Good night (10107) Bad night (3038)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.

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  (205): The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with. http://tfl.nu/ihrj
  Replies (13) Good night (3912) Bad night (1153)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store

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  (828): yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store http://tfl.nu/iz0y
  Replies (8) Good night (6191) Bad night (1002)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date

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  (812): obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date http://tfl.nu/sjjn
  Replies (19) Good night (5169) Bad night (1054)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.

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  (501): I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus. http://tfl.nu/lpxj
  Replies (19) Good night (4453) Bad night (1894)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS

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  (603): ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS http://tfl.nu/rbdc
  Replies (12) Good night (1826) Bad night (833)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?

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  (623): Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck? http://tfl.nu/k3jz
  Replies (6) Good night (2386) Bad night (663)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  You're the salmon of the gays...

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  (574): I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual (1-574): You're the salmon of the gays... http://tfl.nu/2l6t
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (322)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.

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  (703): HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER. http://tfl.nu/g3ji
  Replies (1) Good night (1221) Bad night (318)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!

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  (608): Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know! http://tfl.nu/hgdr
  Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (753)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.

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  (732): Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS. http://tfl.nu/p93u
  Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (303)

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