Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My nipple is on Facebook.

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  (248): My nipple is on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/5rti
  Replies (5) Good night (1037) Bad night (1138)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  That's when you crack a 10am beer

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  (206): That's when you crack a 10am beer http://tfl.nu/ppt1
  Replies (12) Good night (2728) Bad night (679)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?

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  (773): If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk? http://tfl.nu/beic
  Replies (34) Good night (3481) Bad night (939)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be

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  (507): Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be http://tfl.nu/9ozv
  Replies (29) Good night (4639) Bad night (708)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

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  (585): I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine http://tfl.nu/d7kh
  Replies (12) Good night (977) Bad night (6461)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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  (228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk
  Replies (50) Good night (10595) Bad night (1011)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A

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  (612): I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A http://tfl.nu/yjw5
  Replies (140) Good night (7277) Bad night (1918)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.

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  (720): When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail. http://tfl.nu/a5d0
  Replies (13) Good night (1061) Bad night (4197)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.

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  (630): Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren. http://tfl.nu/fimu
  Replies (12) Good night (2054) Bad night (1625)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand

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  (412): Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand http://tfl.nu/54cj
  Replies (3) Good night (1280) Bad night (493)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.

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  (937): I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus. http://tfl.nu/cdmo
  Replies (7) Good night (649) Bad night (810)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS

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  (231): I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS http://tfl.nu/xgon
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (360)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll

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  (847): Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll http://tfl.nu/osu5
  Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (488)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....

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  (505): I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from.... http://tfl.nu/owld
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that

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  (630): They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that http://tfl.nu/580s
  Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (361)

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