I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day