Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.