Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.

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(610): Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it. http://tfl.nu/867y

Replies (16) Good night (1738) Bad night (579)
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(905): View more from Toronto

Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

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(905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich http://tfl.nu/gjvv

Replies (107) Good night (1023) Bad night (14944)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.

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(603): I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed. http://tfl.nu/t2tl

Replies (17) Good night (4785) Bad night (782)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?

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(479): You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI? http://tfl.nu/c4jp

Replies (11) Good night (611) Bad night (3450)
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(914): View more from New York

My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

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(914): My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control. http://tfl.nu/45m8

Replies (47) Good night (1389) Bad night (3968)
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(207): View more from Maine

She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

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(207): She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird. http://tfl.nu/49lo

Replies (20) Good night (7814) Bad night (2155)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.

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(262): Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award. http://tfl.nu/7kwq

Replies (6) Good night (3699) Bad night (894)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed

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(973): his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed http://tfl.nu/wvyq

Replies (59) Good night (13359) Bad night (2470)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed

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(303): I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed http://tfl.nu/1p3v

Replies (24) Good night (890) Bad night (5815)
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(206): View more from Washington

So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?

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(206): So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for? http://tfl.nu/tolv

Replies (10) Good night (2157) Bad night (1213)
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(630): View more from Illinois

At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us

(847): View more from Illinois

You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.

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(630): At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us (847): You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high. http://tfl.nu/59an

Replies (6) Good night (2787) Bad night (1360)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.

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(603): I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail. http://tfl.nu/cdnn

Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (1369)
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(607): View more from New York

Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.

(426): View more from

So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.

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(607): Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy. (426): So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee. http://tfl.nu/cx81

Replies (12) Good night (3215) Bad night (577)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.

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(847): Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that. http://tfl.nu/stzp

Replies (1) Good night (1214) Bad night (458)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.

(985): View more from Louisiana

its good to be home.

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(985): drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye. (985): its good to be home. http://tfl.nu/5qd5

Replies (4) Good night (881) Bad night (327)

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