Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.