Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
