He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos