Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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