You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
