if i can run in heels then i can drive
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
