Can Purell be used as lube?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
