this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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