my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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