Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize