I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
