she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
