I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
pray to the hookup gods
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
