I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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