i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
