nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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