ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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