I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
