my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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