i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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