Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
