I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
