So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
