I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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