if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
