New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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