we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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