watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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