I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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