Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We left an ass print on the piano.
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let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
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