seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
