Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
