I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
