Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
