I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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