my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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