I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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