What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
