She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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