I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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