I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
