I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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