He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
