yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
