Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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