once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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