i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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