have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
