I looked at my own cervix.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize