My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize